The Concept of Forgiveness in Judaism
Rabbi David Rosen
HUMAN FORGIVENESS God’s forgiveness, however extensive, only encompasses those sins which man commits directly against Him, “bein adam la-Makom”; those in which an injury is caused to one’s fellow man, ‘”bein adam le-havero”, are not forgiven until the injured party has himself forgiven the perpetrator. Hence the custom of seeking forgiveness from those one may have wronged on the eve of the Day of Atonement, without which proper atonement cannot be made (Yoma 8:9, basing itself on Lev. 16:30 “…all your sins before the Lord,” i.e., and not to man: Yad. Loc. Cit., 2:9 ; Sh. Ar., OH, 605:1 ; see also RH 17b ; Sifra, Aharei Mot, Perek 8).
The law regarding physical injury, for example, is explicit in that even after the various compensatory payments have been made, the inflictor of the damage must seek the forgiveness of the injured party for the suffering caused (BK 92a ; Yad, Hovel u-Mazzik 5:9 ; Sh. Ar., HM, 422). Not only must he who sins against his fellow seek forgiveness from him, but the one sinned against is duty bound to forgive. “Man should be pliant as a reed, not hard like the cedar” in granting forgiveness (Ta’an. 20a). The Talmud also states: “All who act mercifully (i.e. forgivingly) toward their fellow creatures will be treated mercifully by Heaven, and all who do not act mercifully toward their fellow creatures will not be treated mercifully by Heaven” (Shab. 151b ; see also RH, 17a ; Meg. 28a). If the injured party refuses to forgive even when the sinner has come before him three times in the presence of others and asked for forgiveness, then he is in turn deemed to have sinned (see Mid. Tanh. Hukkat 19). He is called akhzari (“cruel”). The unforgiving man is not truly of the seed of Abraham (Bez. 32b), since one of the distinguishing marks of all of Abraham’s true descendants is that they are forgiving. The quality of forgiveness was one of the gifts God bestowed on Abraham and his seed (Yer. 79a ; Num R. 8:4 ; Yad, Teshuvah 2:10).
The rabbis go even further in the ethical demands made upon the injured party, for not only must he be ready to forgive his injurer, he should also pray that God forgive the sinner before he has come to beg forgiveness (Yad, loc. cit. ; Tosef., BK 9:29 ; Sefer Hasidim ed. Margalioth 1957, 267 no. 360). This demand is based on the example of Abraham, who prayed to God to forgive Abimelech (Gen. 20:17). The reasons the injured party should be ready to forgive the injurer are mixed. On the one hand is the self-regarding consideration, already mentioned, that forgiveness to one’s fellow wins forgiveness from Heaven. As Philo states: “If you ask pardon for your sins, must you also forgive those who have trespassed against you? For remission is granted for remission” (Works of Philo ed. Mangey, 2 (1742), 670 ; see also Yoma 23a). On the other hand there is the purer motive of imitatio dei. Just as it is in the nature of God to be merciful to His creatures, so man in attempting to imitate the ways of God should be forgiving toward those who have injured him (Shab. 133b). In the words of the sage Abba Shaul “Just as He is compassionate and merciful so you be compassionate and merciful” (Mekh. Canticles, 3). R. Nahman combines both motives when he says: “Imitate God by being compassionate and forgiving. He will in turn have compassion on you, and pardon your offenses” (op. cit. 81-91).
HUMAN FORGIVENESS God’s forgiveness, however extensive, only encompasses those sins which man commits directly against Him, “bein adam la-Makom”; those in which an injury is caused to one’s fellow man, ‘”bein adam le-havero”, are not forgiven until the injured party has himself forgiven the perpetrator. Hence the custom of seeking forgiveness from those one may have wronged on the eve of the Day of Atonement, without which proper atonement cannot be made (Yoma 8:9, basing itself on Lev. 16:30 “…all your sins before the Lord,” i.e., and not to man: Yad. Loc. Cit., 2:9 ; Sh. Ar., OH, 605:1 ; see also RH 17b ; Sifra, Aharei Mot, Perek 8).
The law regarding physical injury, for example, is explicit in that even after the various compensatory payments have been made, the inflictor of the damage must seek the forgiveness of the injured party for the suffering caused (BK 92a ; Yad, Hovel u-Mazzik 5:9 ; Sh. Ar., HM, 422). Not only must he who sins against his fellow seek forgiveness from him, but the one sinned against is duty bound to forgive. “Man should be pliant as a reed, not hard like the cedar” in granting forgiveness (Ta’an. 20a). The Talmud also states: “All who act mercifully (i.e. forgivingly) toward their fellow creatures will be treated mercifully by Heaven, and all who do not act mercifully toward their fellow creatures will not be treated mercifully by Heaven” (Shab. 151b ; see also RH, 17a ; Meg. 28a). If the injured party refuses to forgive even when the sinner has come before him three times in the presence of others and asked for forgiveness, then he is in turn deemed to have sinned (see Mid. Tanh. Hukkat 19). He is called akhzari (“cruel”). The unforgiving man is not truly of the seed of Abraham (Bez. 32b), since one of the distinguishing marks of all of Abraham’s true descendants is that they are forgiving. The quality of forgiveness was one of the gifts God bestowed on Abraham and his seed (Yer. 79a ; Num R. 8:4 ; Yad, Teshuvah 2:10).
The rabbis go even further in the ethical demands made upon the injured party, for not only must he be ready to forgive his injurer, he should also pray that God forgive the sinner before he has come to beg forgiveness (Yad, loc. cit. ; Tosef., BK 9:29 ; Sefer Hasidim ed. Margalioth 1957, 267 no. 360). This demand is based on the example of Abraham, who prayed to God to forgive Abimelech (Gen. 20:17). The reasons the injured party should be ready to forgive the injurer are mixed. On the one hand is the self-regarding consideration, already mentioned, that forgiveness to one’s fellow wins forgiveness from Heaven. As Philo states: “If you ask pardon for your sins, must you also forgive those who have trespassed against you? For remission is granted for remission” (Works of Philo ed. Mangey, 2 (1742), 670 ; see also Yoma 23a). On the other hand there is the purer motive of imitatio dei. Just as it is in the nature of God to be merciful to His creatures, so man in attempting to imitate the ways of God should be forgiving toward those who have injured him (Shab. 133b). In the words of the sage Abba Shaul “Just as He is compassionate and merciful so you be compassionate and merciful” (Mekh. Canticles, 3). R. Nahman combines both motives when he says: “Imitate God by being compassionate and forgiving. He will in turn have compassion on you, and pardon your offenses” (op. cit. 81-91).